Shoftim/Elul - Staying Calm when Life isn't

The following has been adapted from the Sefer Ohr G’Deliyahu and Rav Kook in Ein Aya. Feel free to print this out and read it over Shabbos Kodesh just please not during Tefilos!

As we have been taught, there is a famous concept called ‘HaKriya Me’oreres Es HaZman’ – the concepts that flow from the weekly Parsha are always interfacing with and relating to the events on the Jewish calendar. ‘The Scripture is inspiring the Season.’ As Parshas Shoftim is the first Torah Portion read after Rosh Chodesh Elul (the first day of the month) we must keep our eyes open for the theme that connects them.

The beginning of this week’s Parsha deals with the concepts of Jewish law-enforcement. Shoftim V’Shotrim Titen L’cha B’chol She’arecha – Place for yourselves Judges and officers at all of your gates.

We know that the Torah is Divine and therefore it is exact. Each letter is filled with godliness, and because of this each one needs to be analyzed with intense scrutiny. There is no fluff, no need for repeats or padding. If this is true then what does the Torah HaKedosha specifying in its split of Shoftim and Shotrim – Judges and Officers? What differing roles do they play?

Rashi on the verse gives us the answer. Shoftim, the Judges, are there to make decisions. They discover the truth in Halachically-sticky situations. Hopefully those involved in the cases will adhere to their rulings. It’s when the constituents don’t listen that the need for Shotrim, Officers, arises. These Officers are really enforcers. When a Jew chooses not to listen to the Torah and its rules the Shotrim step in to forcibly persuade them back into doing the right thing.

That’s very nice. But the Torah was given to be relevant and applicable in every person in every culture in every generation. So what do I learn about my life when I learn about ancient law-enforcement?

The Sh’lah HaKadosh explains that the concepts in this verse could not be more relevant. Shoftim V’Shotrim Titen L’cha B’chol She’arecha – Judges and Enforcers shall you place in all of your gates. These gates are the human senses. How do I know this to be true? Well, what is a gate of a city? The city gates are the place where products, culture, information and everything else comes in and out of the city. The gate of the city is the place where the city interacts with the rest of the world. Based on this my eyes are gates. My nose, ears, mouth skin – they are all gates. Information comes in and out through there. Taste, sight, sound and the like are all tantamount to that which passes through the entry to a city.

Shoftim V’Shotrim Titen L’cha B’chol She’arecha is telling us that just as city gates need Judges and Officers, so too the ‘gates’ of the human experience, my relationship to the world around me need Judges and Officers just the same.

In my personal life, my intellectual faculties serve as my Judges. I use logic and reasoning to determine right from wrong; what to do and what to refrain from. Under ideal circumstances I can succeed in Avodas Hashem simply by making and intellectual decision to do so.

But sometimes the situations I find myself in deprive me of my normative logical properties. Sometimes I’m simply not ‘feeling it’. I’m burnt out. I’m having a bad day. My brain is already turned off. How am I supposed to accomplish in Avodas Hashem now? In these situations, how do I overcome the tests that HaKadosh Baruch Hu throws my way? The answer is Shotrim - Officers. We force ourselves. Hashem has commanded us not only to serve him with logic, but also to have a back up, a storehouse of energy that we can use to pull through when we are simply overwhelmed by exterior or internal circumstances.

But from where do the Jewish People derive this ‘auto-pilot’-like strength? If we can pinpoint the moment where Hashem gave us that inner wellspring of inspiration then when an immensely difficult situation attempts to overpower us we can draw vigor from there and emerge victorious even in the most difficult situations.

At Ma’amad Har Sinai, the Jews accepted the Torah with full hearts and open arms. They lovingly declared Na’aseh V’Nishma – We will do and we will listen! We are totally yours! We want this and we want You.

But Chazal reveal to us that the story didn’t end there. Right after the dramatic moments of Na’aseh V’Nishma, God lifted Mount Sinai off of the ground, held it over the heads – Har K’Gigis - of the Jewish people and laid down an ultimatum: ‘If you accept the Torah, great. If not, I’ll bury you right here.’ What’s going on here?

Rav Dessler taught us that free will doesn’t always extend to every option that I am offered. I only have free will when the options are reasonably close to one another. For example: ‘Chocolate or Vanilla’ is a choice. ‘Chocolate or Cyanide’ is not. If a father were to tell his son ‘Go to school or I’ll break your nose!’ it wouldn’t be much of a choice. In fact, by giving him these two options the son’s free will has actually been taken away! He’s being forced to go to school. Based on this, when HaKadosh Baruch Hu said ‘If you accept the Torah, great. If not, I’ll bury you right here’ He wasn’t giving us a choice, He was really removing our ability to choose. But why?

The answer begins with an important spiritual understanding of the human psyche. The fact that I am alive expresses itself in the universe on two levels: There is the exterior stage of my personality that is revealed by the choices that I make. My reactions, the clothing that I wear, my mannerisms are all reflections of my choices. This is me as I manifest in Choice. But then there is a level that is yet deeper: The very fact that I am alive. The fact that I exist takes on an expression of its own. I take up a space in the universe. My soul is unique. This is me as I manifest as a living being.

The fact that we accepted the Torah on the level of Na’aseh V’Nishma is very good. We made a choice. We decided that we wanted to be on the side of Avodas Hashem. While that’s nice, it’s still only the exterior level of my being. When God threatens my life over the Torah’s acceptance I receive the Torah not on the level of choice but rather on the level of being. The very fact that I exist was put on the line in the name of Kabalas HaTorah. And the fact that I accepted it under such circumstances means that it is no longer just tied to how I choose to live, rather it is a part of my life intrinsically.

This is Shoftim and Shotrim. The Shofeit – the Judge – he makes decisions and if all goes well he is listened to. This is the level of Na’aseh V’Nishma. It’s the beautiful feeling of lovingly serving God because I want to. But there is the even deeper level of the Shoteir – the Enforcer. This is the level of Har K’Gigis. The Torah is not just something that I choose to incorporate into my life – it is my life itself. It as intrinsic to my being as the fact that I am alive. And just like I can’t force myself to stop breathing, so too with the proper awareness I’ll always manage to pull myself back to the Torah.

We know that through the sin of the Golden Calf we lost that which we accomplished when we stood at Sinai the first time. But Chazal explain that it is on Rosh Chodesh Elul that Moshe Rabeinu ascended Mount Sinai for the second time to receive the second set of Tablets. The depth of this is that Rosh Chodesh Elul marks the beginning of our journey back to that original level.

As we begin the month of Elul, we say the chapter of Tehilim entitled L’David Hashem Ori V’Yishi – David HaMelech declares that God is his Light and Salvation. In this chapter is the famous verse: Shivti B’Veis Hashem Kol Yimei Chayai, LaChazos B’Noam Hashem U’L’Vaker B’Heichalo! – Let me sit in the House of Hashem all the days of my life, to perceive the Sweetness of Hashem and visit in His Chambers!

What is David HaMelech saying here? Let me sit in Hashem’s house all the days of my life. He wants to be there all the time. But then he says, ‘To perceive the Sweetness of Hashem and visit in His Chambers.’ Wait – does he want the equilibrium and continuity of being there all the time or does he want the exhilarating charm of the occasional visit? He seems to be implying both!

The answer is both. Of course David HaMelech wants to feel the rush that comes with embracing God. He years to have that feeling all the time. But he knows that he won’t. And even so he wants to cleave to God with all of his might even when it’s not so easy. Shivti B’Veis Hashem Kol Yimei Chayai – Let me be there no matter what. Let me realize that the my relationship to you is as constant as my heartbeat. Bless me with the level of Shoteir. LaChazos B’Noam Hashem U’L’Vaker B’eihalo – but on that platform indulge me in loving every second of it. Let it sweet. Let is be like Na’aseh V’Nishma. I don’t just want it to be right, I want it to feel right as well.

There are times when Avodas Hashem feels amazing. There are times where I truly love it. But there are times where I need to remember that I need to push through and carry on because this is who I am. My relationship with Hashem is more ‘Me’ then my choices of clothing or friends. It’s more true to who I am then the music I listen to or the books that I read. In the same way that blood pumps through my veins and air flows from my lungs I am connected to Hashem. The more we remember that the easier it becomes to live by.

As Parshas Shoftim and Chodesh Elul meet, may HaKadosh Baruch Hu bless us with both levels needed to fully relate to Him. He should infuse us with the inner strength to always pull through and he should bless us with the delight of enjoying every moment of Avodas Hashem. If we can bring ourselves to live with this consciousness there is no doubt that we live live lives full of Simcha and Shleimus moving closer to the Creator and ultimately the Geulah Sheleimah!

Balak: Teacher's Pet

The following is based on the Sefer MiMa’amakim, Rav Kook in Oros HaKodesh, the Sfas Emes and the Maharal in Derech Chayim. Feel free to print this out and read it over Shabbos Kodesh, just please not during Tefilos!

In this week’s Parsha we are introduced to Balak, King of Moav. Balak felt threatened by the presence of the Jewish people near his border, and so he brought the neighboring country of Midyan in for a brainstorming session and they decided to call upon Bila’am Ben B’or, a sorcerer, to curse – and thereby annihilate – the Jewish people.

In the Torah’s detailing of Bila’am’s journey to meet with Balak, Rashi and other commentators point out numerous allusions to Avraham Avinu’s experiences as he made his journey to sacrifice Yitzchak Avinu at the Akeidah. Why the repetitive comparisons? We are here to talk about Bila’am – not Avraham! Why do we need to highlight the association?

Chazal give us the answer to this question in Pirkei Avos (5:19). There the Mishna sets up an epic historical battle between Bila’am and Avraham. The Mishna states as follows: ‘Whosoever possesses these three qualities belongs to the disciples of Avraham Avinu: Ayin Tova - a benevolent eye, Ruach Nemucha - a humble spirit, and Nefesh Shfala - a meek soul. On the other hand, he who possesses the three opposite qualities; Ayin Ra’a an evil eye, Ruach Gvoha a proud spirit, and Nefesh Rechava -  a haughty soul, he is of the disciples of Bila’am HaRasha. How do the disciples of Avraham differ from the disciples of Bila’am? The disciples of Avraham enjoy this world and inherit the World to Come, while the disciples of Bila’am go down to the pit of destruction.’

One simple question on the text: Chazal here claim that if one has these three bad character traits he becomes a disciple of Bila’am. Since when do I need someone to teach me bad traits?! For this I need a character as famous and dramatic as Bila’am HaRasha to teach me? Any immature and insensitive person can figure these traits out by themselves! We need to implement specifically Bila’am HaRasha to teach me this?

And similarly, there are many great Tzadikim from our generations, and yet in contrast to Bila’am HaRasha’s unique quality to be a teacher of Ayin Ra’a, Ruach Gvoha and Nefesh Rechava we need specifically Avraham Avinu to teach me the opposite? No one else could emulate these Midos?

In short – why do we need this precise pair to bring out these contrasting sides?

As we attempt to refine our sensitivity to the words of Chazal, we need to understand that everything they say is intrinsic – the connections that they make, the comparisons that they draw are all stemming from deep-rooted universal truths. Meaning, if Avraham Avinu is lined up against Bila’am HaRasha, and we see that whatever his attributes are – the other personifies the diametrically opposing side, it shows us that Avraham Avinu and Bila’am HaRasha are inherently polar opposites.

This Mishna is coming to illustrate the concept of “Zeh L’Umas Zeh Bara Elokim” – Hashem created the world in such a way that every force has a counterforce. Each pair involved in a Zeh-L’Umas-Zeh relationship are involved in an existential tug-of-war. There is a point over which these two opposing forces are trying to prove their supremacy. Furthermore, this central point of contention is by the nature of its very existence is the only common factor between the two sides. Applying this concept back to our Mishna will hopefully add clarity…

The point of conflict between Bila’am HaRasha and Avraham Avinu is that they emerge in history as diametrically opposing ‘Firsts’, and they started a historical battle that is yet to end.

We know that Bila’am HaRasha was a gentile prophet, but it goes a fascinating step further:  The Torah HaKedosha at the end of Parshash VaYishlach tells us of eight evil Edomite Kings who ruled in succession of one another. This seemingly overlookable factoid is really of tremendous significance. Comes the Arizal and reveals to us that these eight kings play a central historical role: These kings were responsible for the supernal potential for evil manifesting in the world on a practical level. These weren’t just evil people – they were responsible for letting evil and impurity enter this realm of existence.

The first king mentioned in this list – meaning the leader, founder and ideological head of this group was a man named Bela Ben B’or. Sound familiar? It should: Because Bela Ben B’or was simply another way of referring to Bila’am Ben B’or.

This sets Bila’am HaRasha apart in a big way; he’s no longer just a non-Jewish prophet. Now we see him for what he truly is: On the historical scale, he is nothing less dramatic than the foremost and fundamental challenger to holiness in this world. He is the embodiment of Kilkul­ – spiritual destruction

On this level he stands diametrically apposed to Avraham Avinu. The role of the first of our forefathers is not difficult to explain. Avraham Avinu came down to this world in order to found a nation whose entire essence is to reveal holiness in the world. It was he who instituted this movement toward the discovery and revelation of godliness. Avraham is the force of Tikun – rectification.

It is the purpose of Am Yisrael to make the world a deeper, more meaningful, holier – and thereby automatically – better place. And it is Avraham Avinu who stands as its ideological originator.

But how do we do this? What is required of us to pull off the remarkable feat of transforming the world into a sanctified dwelling space? This starts with our Midos – our character traits.

We are forced to say that Midos of Avraham Avinu: Ayin Tova - a good eye, Ruach Nemucha - a humble spirit, and Nefesh Shfala - a meek soul are the keys, the tools that we need to refine and implement in order to fulfill our universal task of Divine Revelation. And we can even say one step further – it’s not the character traits that make me an ideological disciple of Avraham Avinu, that’s not what he is teaching me. I become a student of Avraham because he’s teaching me my purpose in this world. He’s teaching me how to bring about spiritual rectification to the expanse of creation. The only way to accomplish this is through the implementation of these Midos. When do so I will automatically connect myself to, become a student of, be a part of his historical mission.

And so, Ayin Ra’a an evil eye, Ruach Gvoha a proud spirit, and Nefesh Rechava - a haughty soul; the tell-tale signs that one is a disciple of Bila’am HaRasha; must be tools needed to make a the world a less spiritual, less holy, less God-conscious place. And the same holds true here – it’s not the Midos that make me a Talmid, a student, of Bila’am HaRasha – rather it’s self-attachment to the furtherance of Bila’am’s goals that makes him part of the club. This ideological association is revealed by the manifestation of his qualities

Chazal define Bila’am HaRasha’s Midos as such:  Ayin Ra’a – Resentfulness. Jealousy. The distaste for the good fortune of others. The thrill of watching something break. Ruach Gvoha – Pumped-up ego. Self-centeredness. The inability to function within a group. The furtherance of ‘self’ being the highest cause. Nefesh Rechava – Insatiability. And endless hunger for more and more physical pleasure. Lust and greed.

When a person gets caught up in these qualities he furthers Bila’am HaRasha’s goal. He creates disconnection and dissonance between the creations of the universe. He trains himself to be shallow. He disallows himself from connecting to the Divine.

Conversely; they define Avraham Avinu’s traits in the following way: Ayin Tova - Benevolence. My deep-rooted desire to complete that which is lacking and to fix that which is broken. My internal drive to make things right. Ruach Nemucha – Humility. Having the proper perspective that there is a greater goal, the wisdom as well as sensitivity to see myself as part of a bigger plan. Nefesh Shfala – Not living with an overdependence on the physical. Being satisfied with my lot.

These qualities facilitate Avraham Avinu’s ideology to come to fruition. Inasmuch as I myself as a vessel for holiness, a conduit for sensitivity, I can make the world a deeper, more meaningful place. A feeling of being settled without a constant nag to be shiny and shallow. An internal drive to see that my surroundings are always getting a little bit better. A kind word. Picking up a piece of trash. It is these qualities that the students Avraham Avinu put into practice in order to complete his – and their – task over the course of history.

The comparison between Bila’am HaRasha to Avraham Avinu allows me to take an assessment of which side I am on. Am I on the side of Tikun or Kilkul? Am I here to associate with Bila’am or Avraham? What do I want the world to look like?

HaKadosh Baruch Hu should give us the strength to fulfill our destiny and attach ourselves to Avraham Avinu’s vision of the world. We should be given the constant flow of inspiration and strength to polish and reveal our elements of Ayin Tova, Ruach Nemucha and Nefesh Shfala so that we can bring about the ultimate purpose of the universe: To make a beautiful, pure and holy world. A world that is receptive to Ratzon Hashem. If we can do this, there is no doubt that we will live lives of Simcha and Shleimus moving closer to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and ultimately the Geulah Sheleimah!

VaYichi: Life - Now In Amazing 3D!

This week’s Parsha begins by telling us, “VaYichi Yaakov B’Eretz Mitzrayim Shva Esrei Shana,” And Yaakov lived in Egypt for seventeen years. Chazal explain in many different places that these were Yaakov’s best years. Only now was he truly alive. The deeper sources go so far as to say that he living a life tantamount to the End of Days, to Acharis HaYamim. Living an idealistic spiritual existence. His whole life was post-Mashiach, living with no problems, no temptation, no bothers; just closeness to Hashem. Vayichi Yaakov B’Eretz Mitzrayim: Kick up your feet and relax – This mamesh is the life.

Rav Shlomo Kluger asks a simple question: Eretz Yisrael is called Artzos HaChayim, the land from which all life-energy is rooted. Techiyas HaMeisim, the resurrection of the dead, comes to fruition in Eretz Yisrael - the power to be alive is here. So how is at all logical to say that Yaakov Avinu was so amazingly alive in Mitzrayim? Even further - how can that even be called life at all?!

The answer is that Yaakov Avinu was living an Eretz-Yisrael-like existence. He had Artzos HaChayim in his head, so even in Mitzrayim he can thrive on an Eretz Yisrael level.

The question is how did he do it? What was it about Yaakov Avinu’s outlook that empowered him and inspired him to such a lofty existence, even in the lowest of places?

The Sfas Emes answers that Yaakov Avinu really understood himself. He was really in touch with his unique Kochos and capabilities, and via that he was able to see through the distracting and daunting shell of Egypt and keep his mind on the goal of Geulah, and if his head is in the right place, then it doesn’t matter where his body is.

Yaakov’s attribute is truth. As we say every week, Titen Emes L’Yaakov - Give truth to Yaakov. What is Emes? What is truth? To have Truth means to have the ability to see past distraction and tap into everything’s essential core. This is truth. Emes means seeing what everything is really all about.

And this is what the outlook of Eretz Yisael is all about. Chazal tell us that Avira D’Artza Machkim - The air of the Land of Israel makes one wise. Rav Kook writes in Oros that when a Jew is in lands of the nations, just being there impedes his higher awareness. The natural spiritual intelligence – a sense of being tuned in to holiness becomes dimmed. There is a spiritual static that disrupts the air.

This is not the case in Eretz Yisrael. In Eretz Yisrael, my elevated qualities are Tzalul V’Barur - clear and lucid, Naki V’Tahor - clean and pure. But most importantly, he writes that the Jewish mind is infinitely more capable to perceive the Hofa’as HaEmes HaElokis - the expressions of Godly truth that penetrates all reality.

This truth; the reality that all things are totally and completely under God’s control at all times, is the make-it-or-break-it point of exile versus redemption. BaYom HaHu Yihiye Hashem Echad U’Shemo Echad means that on the day of the Great Revelation of Hashem’s unity, we will all see with the utmost clarity that God’s specific attention enlivens all things.

But we are told through Chazal that even before that day where He pulls off the mask, a person can reveal this truth to himself! I can choose to see through all the noise. I can choose to relate to my soul as the real me. I can choose (or at least attempt) to focus on HaKadosh Baruch Hu’s total dominance. I can constantly relate to that Hofa’as HaEmes HaElokis. When I do that – I’m living in my own personal redemption.

Says the Sfas Emes, when the Passuk tells us VaYichi Yaakov B’Eretz Mitzrayim, we are being told that Yaakov was a vessel; he was channeling through himself this Eretz-Yisrael-sense. By fully actualizing his attribute of Emes he was teaching by example how to be in Artzos HaChayim even in what the Torah calls Ervas Ha’Aretz - the land of Egypt, a place totally engrossed in filth.

Eretz Yisrael is about Emes. Emes is a Geulah state-of-mind. So if I engrain in myself the deepest, realest kind of Emes - Yaakov Avinu Emes, so much so that it becomes my very personality; I take the Geulah with me no matter where I go. And with that we can have VaYichi Yaakov – Titen Emes L’Yaakov – B’Eretz Mitzrayim.

At the end of the Parsha Yaakov tells his children, “Hei’Asfu V’Agida Lachem Es Asher Yikra Eschem Ba’Acharis HaYamim,” Gather around and I’ll tell you what will happen to you in the End of Days.

Now we see a new depth in how Yaakov was able to tell them what would happen in the End of Days. As we have explained, in a very real way, Yaakov Avinu was already there! So now he could begin to reveal a date, a description, everything that that the days of redemption would be.

But as we are told, this did not come to fruition. The Ruach HaKodesh, the divine inspiration that would allow him to reveal these secrets, left him. Yaakov was no longer able to relate this unity.

Why? The Midrashim tell us that Yaakov was concerned that just like Avraham had Yishmael, and Yitzchak had Eisav, perhaps one among his sons was generating a negative energy. Perhaps one of them was not seeing the world through the lens of Emes that is required to be connected to the End of Days.

On another level, the Sefer Mima’amakim brings from Rav Moshe Shapira and the Sfas Emes that the number twelve, the number of the tribes is a number that when left unchecked is a manifestation of dispersion. Try it; it takes twelve lines, twelve bars to draw a cube. A cube is a 3D model of space. (Check out the Chanukah essay for a more detailed description) But there is a very important center point in the middle of the cube that holds things together. The Point of Context, the Factor that keeps everything connected. This Factor is our recognition of Hashem. (Check out the Chanukah essay for a more detailed description)

For this reason the word Echad, which means one, has the numerical value of thirteen. Twelve components and one unifying factor. The unity of all space comes through the unification of twelve.

This adds a new beauty to how the Midrash tells us that the tribes responded. What did they answer back to Yaakov? Shema Yisrael! Hashem Elokeinu Hashem Echad! Listen up Yisrael! Listen up Father! We know that Hashem is One! We recognize His unity! We are in the right state-of-mind for this revelation. We together make up the twelve components and the unifying factor!

But it was too late. Yaakov no longer knew the date. But Chazal tell us that he revealed the secrets in a hidden way instead. Instead of describing the End of Days, Yaakov gave all of the tribes blessings and he defined each one. Yehuda is a lion. Dan is a Snake. Yissachar is a Donkey. Zevulun is a sea-trader. Each one was defined by his truest essence.

And this is the underlying secret of Geulah. The only way for there to be a clear, well built, and unified cube – there needs to be well defined parts.

Emes needs to penetrate all details for the unity to be pulled together. Only when I try to understand everything, when I see the unique and special essence of all the differences can I begin to see the unifying factor. If everything is the same, then finding a unifying theme is no big deal. Beauty by its very definition is harmony of differences. Pulling together many colors, many aspects to form one portrait is where true beauty is. It’s only when I discover the common denominator that unifies all the dispersion – the number thirteen that unifies the first twelve – it is only then that BaYom HaHu Yihiye Hashem Echad fully emerges. Beauty by its very definition is harmony of differences. Pulling together many colors, many aspects to form one portrait is where true beauty is.

This is why Yaakov’s full accessing of his attribute of Emes geared him towards a Geulah state of mind. When we tap into this, we too can begin to understand our unique capabilities, our unique strengths, and our unique way of revealing the unifying point and how we can do our part in tying it all together – bringing together all the dispersion and bringing us all to the ultimate Geulah BaYom HaHu Yihiye Hashm Echad Ushmo Echas - Amen.

Yom Kippur: Hit Rewind

As Yom Kippur is upon us, Teshuva - our ability to return to God – becomes a timely topic. Hopefully, when we delve into the words of Chazal we will discover some beautiful insights into the profound power of Teshuva.

There is a perplexing Gemara that appears both in the tractates of Nedarim and Pesachim. The Gemara there says that there is a list of several things that were produced before the universe was created. On that list is Teshuva.

Teshuva Kadma L’Olam. Teshuva - the capacity to overcome sin and bridge the gap with Hashem – to improve, develop and grow - was created before the stage of history was set. Let’s offer a few possible understandings to this puzzling comment of the Sages.

Rav Shmuel Tal Shlit’a in his Sefer Tal Chaim explains the following: Universal history is compared to river that flows with its dynamic changes in current and its twists and its turns. If the timeline of reality is compared to a river, then Teshuva - which is created before all of that, exists within the ‘source’ of that river. Any rock that is placed in the source of a river will cause whirls and currents that impact the river’s entire passage. So too, Teshuva’s influences permeates the course of history. Thus a person who engages in Teshuva harmonizes with that flow.

How do we see Teshuva’s influence seep into the very make-up of the world? At nearly every stage of creation we see either in explicit verses, or in the words of Chazal that Hashem carried out a certain creative act, and then decided that it wasn’t good enough. A few examples: The Midrash in Bereishis says that Hashem was “Boreh Olamos U’Machrivam”, He created a series of universes and destroyed them saying, ‘These are not pleasing to Me.’ until He created our universe world and let it remain by saying, ‘This one is pleasing to Me.’

What, God couldn’t get it right the first time?

Another Midrash. “B’Tchila Ala B’Machshava B’Midas HaDin”, HaKadosh Baruch Hu originally designed the world to run with strict, unforgiving principles – but He saw that the world could not be upheld under such standards. So what did He do? “Shiteif Ima Midas HaRachamim” He added Principles of Mercy to the mix.

Are we saying that God didn’t foresee the outcomes of His own decisions? He needed a change of plans?

When God created light the Passuk tells us that He dived between the light and the dark to make the concepts of night and day. Rashi tells us there that God hid away the original light because He saw that the wicked would abuse it.

Why create it and then hide it? Just start with it in its proper place!

There are more examples, but the theme is clear: Hashem intentionally created the world with lacks and imperfections in order to encode into the very fabric of reality a yearning for improvement.

When we do Teshuva, when we seek to improve ourselves, we synchronize our very being with the rhythm of creation.

Not only do we learn from Teshuva Kadma L’Olam that Teshuva is the propelling force of history, but we also learn something about Teshuva itself. Reb Yehoshua Skydel Shlit’a raises a beautiful point: Anything created before the world signifies that the world is meaningless without that thing.

What does this mean in relationship to Teshuva Kadma L’Olam? The answer is possibly this: Hashem created the world with the end goal in mind. And what is the end goal? BaYom HaHu Yihiyeh Hashem Echad U’Shemo Echad - the day where God’s glory will blatantly permeate all things, where the entire universe will openly be in-tune with Hashem’s Ratzon.

We see numerous sources in Chazal that certain select individuals didn’t sin in their lifetimes. We see from the fact that our Sages point out the few specials souls who did not mess up that everyone else does. We are humans, and by nature we are not perfect, therefore we make mistakes.

But now that we do make mistakes, if had no way of fixing them the world would never be able to reach the aforementioned state of flawlessness due to the piled up sins! How could the world ever reach perfection if things could only get worse?

Thus Teshuva needs to be built in as a prerequisite for creation to ever manifest positively. Teshuva Kadma L’Olam.

So now we understand that God preempted the world with Teshuva in order to direct the intrinsic shortcomings of creation towards change for the better, and let it achieve its purpose. But how does Teshuva being created before the world empower me on a practical level to overcome my personal shortcomings?

The great Maharal in his explanation on our Gemara gives the following answer. It’s a matter of simple logic that actions aren’t historically reversible. When I do something, it is done. Cause-and-Effect dictates that my deeds register on the universe in an irrevocable way.

This concept trickles down into my day-to-day. When I do something; anything really, it changes the course of events in my life. Any choice I make is the catalyst to the following set of circumstances that I will find myself in. Thus, when I; God forbid, commit a sin, my whole life moves forward with that sin as part of the background. One aspect of what Teshuva tries to accomplish is to ‘rewind’ my life, to move backwards to the original state of purity that I had before from before I did that Aveira and, as it were, start my life again from that point.

Therefore says the Maharal, every person who engages in Teshuva needs to see himself as he was before the sin was done and tap into that inner purity. ‘I felt so much close to Hashem, so much more whole before I did X.’ For in this realm of reality the sin is done, and unless you can psychologically wind back to before it was done, the association of the Aveira will continue to way you down.

For this reason we say Teshuva Kadma L’Olam - because the fresh start that I undergo has to be an entirely clean slate. And such purity exists before history, before anything in my personal history went wrong. Way back then there was a simple purity. The ability to rectify my life preceded my choice to wreck it.

How often do I find myself totally caught up in the shortcomings of my lifestyle, so absorbed in my mistakes that seemingly, there is no possible way to rise above them. “These are my friends, this is my club, this is my favorite drink, this my favorite movie – These are my Aveiros, and it’s just what I do!”

The physical reality says, ‘You’re right – this is your life, and there is no escaping it.’ Teshuva comes and says, ‘I’m one notch higher that the physical reality. Tap into my power, and anything is possible.

I’m only stuck with my mistakes inasmuch as I’m rooted in this world, but when I choose to rise above this world, when I chose to access a power that precedes the world, then I am empowered to truly be able to leave my mistakes behind and begin to grow again.

“Hashem, I’m so imperfect. I make mistakes on every level of my life. A fair assessment of my day-to-day makes me realize that I’m lacking in every area. Do I pray as well as I can? When I make Brachos, do I mean it? I really treat everyone as with the respect they deserve? I devote enough serious time to Torah study? I really go through with life with an active Emunah? Am I really I doing as well as I can? No, I’m not. But it doesn’t have to be this way. I know how good it feels to be close to you. I remember how whole I felt when I was living in sync with your Ratzon. I know that life was better when I lived with a Torah-focus. Please. I’m begging you, Aba, get me out of this. Help me rise above all of these inadequacies, empowered to overcome my weaknesses. Give me the strength to break free of my Aveiros, because their chains are so constricting. Hashem, I can’t do this by myself.

We’ve analyzed why Hashem made Teshuva first. We’ve seen how that makes it the driving force of history, and we’ve discussed how its primordial nature is the root of its power. Perhaps we can end by quoting the beautiful language of Rav Kook (Oros HaTeshuva,6:2) who encapsulates all of these ideas with sheer elegance:

“Teshuva is constantly engrained in the heart of man. Even during the moment of sin itself, the power Teshuva is contained in his spirit. And through its presence it sends forth its influence, a power only revealed when he comes to call out for Teshuva. In the very depth of reality, in the vivacity of space and time – Teshuva is rooted for it was created before the world. Even before the sin, the ability to overcome has already been prepared. Therefore nothing in this world is guaranteed like Teshuva is, and in the end all things will come under its influence and will be perfected through it, to come close, once again, to the will of the Creator.”

May we all experience the holiest Yom Kippur ever.